Blogroll | Congregation Darchei Noam

Kol Nidre is the night that is most fraught with mystery and emotion for many Jews. There is a heightened sense of being on the edge of something – that something being our individual balance on the line between the past and the future.

“Kol Nidre” translates as “all vows”.  We declare all future vows and promises to be invalid.  We know this is the opportunity for us to ask for forgiveness from all those whom we may have hurt in the past year.  

We also express our attitude towards all of our transgressions for the coming year.  While we know in our heart of hearts we will make errors, hurt others, and step on toes, we hope and promise not to do so each year.  We vow that we will do better for the new year. We believe – we really don’t want to hurt anyone – while at the same time knowing it’s difficult to live fully and wholly without slipping up in any number of normal ways – without being, in other words, a typical imperfect human being.  Tonight and tomorrow, we can acknowledge and atone for those imperfections as we stand together in our spiritual home.

This core nature of Jewish practice: that we each pray on our own but within a minyan, is why we are so lucky to have as strong and viable community as we do.  So, we must ensure that Darchei Noam remains viable, strong, relevant, and present for all of us who are here tonight, for the members we hope to welcome into our midst in the coming years, and especially for our children and our grandchildren. How do we accomplish this?

We do that by making sure every member feels welcomed & engaged.  That is why for over the past two years, an enormous amount of energy has gone into creating our Vision. Through volunteer leadership work and subsequent town hall meetings, we focused on three Vision pathways for our programming over the next few years.  Here is where we are and where we are headed:

• With our diverse educational, social justice, Israeli, and cultural programming for members of all ages from babies to school age, teen, 20’s and 30s up to retirement, we’ve got your intellectual and social activity covered.
• Under the vision initiative entitled Shabbat Engagement for Everyone, we’ve got your spirituality needs in mind – ongoing efforts this year to continue injecting creativity into our services, and musical enhancement with more of our musically-gifted congregants become involved in leading services. 
• For our 20- and 30-somethings, under our vision initiative ConnectDN, young adults have been organizing activities to suit their needs both on- and off-site, and that will be ongoing. 
• Under our vision initiative Fostering Deep Connections, aimed at our children aged 0-18, our youngest children have ShabbaTot and loving, creative Shabbat childcare, our school-age children have their own services on Shabbat, and there are Family services on Shabbat every month as well.  We also have Children & Family activity programs, and of course our continually evolving Hebrew school – you may have seen the ads in our weekly online email: “It’s not the cheder your Zaidy went to” – and it really isn’t! Imagine – kids actually having fun as they learn! 
• Our teens currently have a number of volunteer opportunities inside our community, and staff and parents are busy revamping the rest of the teen plans for the coming year. 

All of these activities and programs are what make up Darchei Noam.  These are worthwhile initiatives and it is all of us, right here, right now in this building tonight who are the ones who will ensure that Darchei Noam continues to be a “one-size-fits-one” community, with something for everyone. 

One of the central tenets of Reconstructionist Judaism is the principle of religious practice evolving with each subsequent generation in order to remain meaningful and relevant. If we continue to be successful in doing that for our members – that is, for all of you – then you, in turn, will feel you want to be involved in running the shul, participating in programs, attending activities and services, and supporting the shul financially.  That financial support – that’s just as important as the engagement and connection. 

Just as we need members to pay their annual memberships to the best of their ability, those contributions are not sufficient to cover all of Darchei Noam’s costs.  All of our creative and stimulating programming ideas, our speakers, our outreach efforts, our wonderful staff, and our physical assets – these things that make up who Darchei Noam is, all incur costs for which membership contribution dollars are not sufficient.  Our beautiful building needs funding for us to keep it functioning well and looking so lovely.  Staff deserves to be paid what they are worth within the competitive Toronto synagogue range – so that we can keep our excellent employees happy and productive, and here with us.

Ultimately it is my responsibility as President to ensure that we are all doing everything we can to guarantee our financial solvency in the short term as well as in the long term, to make sure we can sustain our growth, our vision for now and the future, and that we can keep all of you interested in being involved in your community. That way all of us together will be able to ensure our Darchei Noam will be here for our children and their children, so they in turn can plan programs that they want, and they can fundraise for their own future too.  In this way, we keep our Darchei Noam, which is Toronto’s only Reconstructionist shul, open and vibrant and available to keep growing for generations of Toronto looking for a viable Liberal Jewish home.

In 2015 we will be officially launching the next phase of our capital campaign, not for a new home as we did in our first initiative, but this one will be called “Secure our Future”. This community is worth sustaining and we want to preserve it for ourselves and for our future generations. It is exciting to be planning the launch of this new initiative.  You will have the opportunity to be the ones who preserve and secure Darchei Noam for the future.

We do have ongoing challenges ahead as we work to increase member engagement.  Your Membership Committee has worked hard to solicit your opinions on a range of matters this year in the Community Voices survey, which resulted in an impressive 45% participation rate, and we are following up on any concerns and issues identified by members.

So other than ensuring our survival, and engagement of members, what challenges are left?

Here is a very important one in the context of global issues for all Jews:  my hope is that we can learn a new approach to talking about Israel.  We have proven ourselves able to sit comfortably with our Muslim friends here and at their mosque in our twinning project – now we need to work harder to ensure we can listen to one another, engage in dialogue, and acknowledge that diverse points of view about Israel can be acceptable.  In the near future, we are going to introduce a new program that we will be participating in along with a number of other shuls in Toronto, which will support a more cooperative way to learn and talk about Israel.

Another challenge can be that Darchei Noam is not a neighbourhood shul for many of its members, so we need to create the feeling, the atmosphere of neighbourhood, of a shtetl, rather than the geographical definition.  Here are some ways we are especially proud that we do that so well:

• A group of organized, well-trained volunteer shiva minyan leaders go to members’ homes anywhere in the city to lead services. 
• The Chesed committee provides rides, soup, hospital visits, and other services to as needed.
• Our “Mishpacha” groups, first introduced in the early 1990’s, are expanding again.  These are neighbourhood groups, providing the opportunity to interact with a smaller number of your fellow members more intimately, and meet for family-style for Shabbat dinners, social get-togethers, etc. 

In our larger community, we ensure connection by looking out for one another – we check the Mishebeirach list on Shabbat to see if there is anyone we need to call.  We all have times that we need support in our lives, and we need to be ready to jump in and offer it to each other, or find someone who can do what’s needed. Let’s make sure we always remember to build and maintain those bridges, and that we are not afraid to reach out to ask each other how things are, how we can help.  Equally important - no one should ever feel they need to hide their tsuris – let your fellow congregants know if you do need support so that we can offer the acceptance, warmth, kindness, and chesed that everyone needs, within our four walls.

And now here we are, all together, tonight.  The Kol Nidre chant, the Al Chet, these are private and solitary moments for each person, but each participant stands in a room surrounded by so many others we know, or don’t know, but are connected to.

So on this most sacred of nights, as we contemplate our own redemption, our own present and future, beside the friends and neighbours in our shtetl, let’s remember the importance of being able to continue standing together as a united community in this building.  My hope for all of us is that we make sure we all do as much as we can to Support, Build, and Sustain this Darchei Noam, for us today and tomorrow, ensuring we maintain the flow of vibrant, dynamic, and evolving Jewish community.  My hope is this will enrich life for each of you as well as for our upcoming generations and the broader community.

Liane Sharkey has been President of the Board of Directors of Darchei Noam since July 2013.